A view from the couch

Dan Cromar / Roundup


Opening Day is a sacred day for any baseball fan. Spring is finally here, and we can enjoy our hometown heroes once again.
Having lived in the Los Angeles area all my life, my team is and always will be the Los Angeles Dodgers.
This season, the Dodgers opened up on the road against the Pittsburgh Pirates, so the game that was at 1 p.m. eastern began at 10 a.m. here.
Naturally, I cleared my morning schedule so I could enjoy the game from the comfort of my own living room.
The day went something like this…
10:00 – Pregame show begins, officially ending the long, long winter. Morning baseball is always nice, but it’s still weird to watch baseball while eating an English muffin.
10:10 – Lineup introductions begin, and we get our first look at the Dodgers of 2010. Also, we get to see Casey Blake without his beard in glorious high definition.
10:23 – Some nine-year-old diva sings the national anthem.
10:36 – First pitch of the ’10 Dodger season: called strike to Rafael Furcal.
10:47 – Matt Kemp knocks in the first two runs of the new season, and I get to do my first “stand up and wave the runner around third” move alone in my living room. Good times.
11:05 – Casey Blake’s first official at-bat sans beard. Still not feeling it.
11:10 – I move away from the TV for the first time today, because apparently my dog feels that her being fed is more important than this game. She is wrong, of course, but as feeding her is the only way to shut her up, I shall oblige.
11:30 – After receiving some smack talk via text message, I take some time to check out my fantasy team, the Thundercats. Unfortunately, none of the guys on my team are playing in this game, so I’m a tad out of the loop. Doesn’t matter, though, since I’m losing either way.
11:40 – Garrett Jones hits his second home run of the day. Moments later, he becomes the newest member of the Thundercats.
12:15 p.m. – Dodgers finally manage to get Garrett Jones out, ending his bid to hit a home run in every at bat this season.  
12:23 – As Vicente Padilla gives up his fourth run, I decide that now would be a good time to drown my worries in a delicious sandwich.
12:30 – The Pirates take an 8-2 lead. Have added tortilla chips and salsa to the sorrow drowning.
12:36 – I have now begun offering my services as a motivational speaker, telling James Loney that he’s “got this,” and he just needs to “bear down and be a two-strike hitter.” The rest of the players will receive similar talks.
12:57 – Manny knocks in a couple runs in the 7th. He receives words of praise from my living room as I assure him that he has done well. I, like all sports fans, know that these words of encouragement from hundreds of miles away are vital to the success of any team.
1:18 – Headed to the eighth, the Dodgers are down 8-5. If anyone could actually witness the pacing and shouting that is going on in my house right now, I would probably end up in some kind of special hospital.
1:29 – Andre Ethier strikes out swinging with runners on first and third to end the eighth inning. Much swearing ensues.
1:41 – Dodgers reliever George Sherrill has runners on the corners with two outs in the bottom of the eighth. Just light swearing, but swearing nonetheless.
1:44 – Ryan Doumit hits a three run home in the top of the ninth to give the Pirates an 11-6 lead. Screaming and swearing has reached new levels. I am slightly concerned that the neighbors might report some kind of domestic disturbance.
1:55 – James Loney grounds out to end a quiet ninth inning for the Dodgers. Final score: Pirates 11, Dodgers 5. Loud swearing has been replaced with low muttering.
The great thing about baseball, however, is that there are 162 games in a season. The thing to remember is that 50% of all teams will lose on Opening Day.
So we just repeat the process tomorrow, and try to break anything in fits of either rage or joy.
Monday, it was rage.
No casualties to report.