Alonso Yanez
In 84 minutes, “Reno 911!: Miami” convinced me that writers have run out of creativity and major movie studios have lost their ability to discern between funny and obscene.
This was after sitting through a brainless and repetitive compilation of foolish jokes that seemed to have been written by a 7-year-old.
The film tells the story of a group of Reno police officers that travels to Miami for the National Police Convention. After arriving, the protagonists become victims of bureaucracy and are not allowed in the convention because of a problem with their reservations.
They are forced to seclude themselves in a trashy motel and enjoy a night of masturbation and booze.
However, this is Hollywood and a crucial and fantastic event was needed to give life to this travesty: a terrorist biological attack on the convention center that leaves our courageous heroes, after the required Department of Homeland Security blessing, as the sole authority in Miami Beach.
Luckily I had never wasted my time watching the series created by Ben Garant, Kerri Kenney-Silver and Thomas Lennon, which just finished its fourth season on Comedy Central.
I went to watch the movie with an open mind, hoping it would be a refreshing “COPS” parody, but it turned out to be a horrible fusion between “Police Academy” and “Super Troopers.”
Not even guest appearances by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Danny DeVito could save the film from its downward spiral as the audience watched a wide-angle view of the motel where the protagonists stayed and saw each one of them masturbate with the curtains open.
Comedy is dying.
I tried to give myself strength to finish watching the film by thinking that what is funny or atrocious is always subjective, but I could not help thinking that this was a professional effort made by a group of writers getting paid very well and that at some point executives from 20th Century Fox sat together and decided to put the company’s money and time in this R-rated movie.
Comedy is not dying of natural causes.
It is being murdered by a group of tasteless bullies who choose to release films that lack the most important characteristic of any good parody: creativity.
As my brain was getting numb and my stomach was starting to turn, I was lucky the film got to its best part – when the screen turned black and the closing credits relieved me of my misery.
This film was a waste of money, but especially time. This is an example for major movie studios of why audiences are getting tired of spending $10 on a movie, preferring to rent it later.
Our glorified movie industry has become a scavenger, looking to take money away from unsuspecting viewers who want to be entertained and not robbed.
I would only recommend this movie to those non-believers who still have hope in Hollywood.
Overall Rating: F-
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