Natalie Yemenidjian
During two years of working at a mall, you meet many unique individuals. Some may weird you out, while others are inspirational.
Within the confines of malls across the nation, there are groups of people who come together to work out their bodies and their minds.
Mall walkers are the creme de la creme of mall-goers. They come out early in the morning, before stores are open, before losers can crowd their winning paths.
It is truly an honor to see these avant-garde kinds of sportsmen lunging up escalators, equipped with neon colored fanny packs, pushing each other to greatness.
Whether it is before the mall allows anyone else to walk through its steel automatic sliding doors of glory, or after they are all closed, mall walkers will be exercising their way to consumer perfection.
Their excessive knowledge of mall floor plans could earn them a Ph. D.
Don’t underestimate their stamina. Their pelvis jerks so fast, you’d think their legs are spinning in some kind of fanny-pack-anchored apparatus.
They weave and bop through crowds. In the midst of a rush from a nearby sale, their stealth is an asset.
Oh ode to you, dear mall walker. You are but a rarity in the world. Lets keep it that way.
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