Chrystal Walsh
Been to your local coffee house lately? Some students make a living off caffeine addicts.
Working for a major coffee company is interesting business, but it does have its drawbacks. The subject of our ire is also the object of our desire — customers.
They are a diverse lot. We get interesting and wonderful people coming in. Then there are those who have become notorious.
Want to avoid being hated at every business in town? If so, please heed this advice:
Let’s start with cell phone addicts. We don’t care to hear your phone conversations. Next time, I may just butt in and act like you’re talking directly to me. (“What? You actually married that loser? Have you no self esteem?”)
Next, familiarize yourself with our products. We’re happy to assist you, but we’re different from the competition. People ask for products we don’t have (“I’ll have a large mochaccino You don’t have them? Why not?!”) and then get angry.
Then there are demanding snobs who order drinks with a ton of ingredients. (“I’ll have a latte with half a Sweet’N Low, one pump of vanilla, half a pump of mocha, extra hot, no foam, an extra shot, nonfat milk.”)
And yuppies, you have no idea how annoying herd-followers are. Drop the snooty attitude. Your perceived wealth and material possessions don’t mean anything to us. Or to anyone with any sense.
Then there are stroller mommies. They are often inconsiderate of others, enjoy constant chatter and annoy us to no end. They block walkways with their strollers. I guess they feel they own the place.
Around 2:30 p.m. we know that the witching hour is upon us: School is almost out. Don’t get me wrong, young people are welcome as long as they are quiet and respectful. We prefer that parents keep the vicious kind away from the vulnerable public.
One guy let his daughter come to our store every day after school. The girl swore at our customers, swore at us and disturbed others. Her father defended the demon seed, got angry at our security guard and threatened to sue. If the brat had continued to create a problem for us, we would have taken her photo, notified her school and called the cops. We won.
Along the same lines, if you bring a baby with you, keep it quiet and controlled. Please, no screaming. Do not let the little darling wander behind our counter (weíve had some customers who thought it was cute). We get lots of complaints about unruly children and babies.
Then there are the slobs. Parents are the worst offenders, but others are guilty as well. I know it’s difficult for you to lift your empty cup and napkin and drop it into a bin about five feet away, but think of it as good exercise!
Sometimes our customers can’t speak English well, or they mumble. Try to avoid snapping at us if we don’t understand you. Wise customers write down their orders.
Also, determine beforehand who is going to pay instead of arguing about who√≠s going to treat who. I have a very simple solution: Why don’t you BOTH pay? I’ll put half in the register and half into the tip jar! Presto, your dilemma is solved!
Bottom line: We’re just asking that you put things in perspective. We are not dealing with life-and-death issues here. If you’re in a grumpy mood, don’t take it out on us. Try someone else. Such as your boss!
Don’t lose your temper because a mistake was made or you were not served fast enough. Workers are only human. It isn’t that big a deal, and it does nasty things to your blood pressure.
Try decaf next time.