Safe sex between two adults in a relationship can be a beautiful thing. For those choosing to remain virgins until marriage, honestly, I don’t understand it. Don’t they have an urge to merge?You wouldn’t buy a new car without taking it out for a test drive, so why not have sex before marriage? After all, what if you find out you are sexually incompatible once you’re married? Then you are stuck in a loveless marriage or headed for divorce with cheating a possibility, too.I was sexually active at a young age. Blame it on the ’70s and Led Zeppelin. During the ’60s and ’70s, the prevailing attitude was “if it feels good, do it.” It seemed like everyone was doing “it.” It was part of the culture. Making love was considered a beautiful way to express feelings. So I proudly joined the movement and never looked back.My first time having sex was pretty uneventful. I remember thinking, “Is that it? This is what everyone is talking about?” My friends reacted with, “You did WHAT?” But, soon they all followed in my footsteps; it was the thing to do. Being young and inexperienced probably had a lot to do with my initial reaction, because sex got better as I got older, wanting to incorporate different ideas to my sexual acts, purchasing a toy or two from a site like Babestation Play. After living with my now ex-husband for a few months, we decided to get married. We were sexually involved before marriage so there were no surprises on our honeymoon. If the sex was good, why did we divorce? After a few years we grew apart, each wanting different things, but sex was not one of them. We were in love when we married but eventually wanted to go our own separate ways.Recreational sex and one-night stands have their place in the scheme of things. Sometimes sex is just sex and doesn’t involve love. It’s just easier that way. There were occasions when I didn’t have time to be in a committed relationship, and a little recreational sex went a long way. Besides, you can learn things from different partners, each time gaining a little more experience. Tina Turner put it best: “What’s love got to do with it?” The need for sex is a biological urge; people shouldn’t be condemned for acting on it.My “activities” did slow a bit when sexually transmitted diseases began running rampant. I scrutinized my potential partners more than before and condoms were, and still are, a must. What constitutes sex, anyway? There are the virgins who do everything but have intercourse. Is all sex bad? Just because penetration wasn’t involved, can they still be considered virgins? Yes, but only by the narrowest of definitions.Many people do have intercourse before marriage and if they are in a relationship, they may find that they’re sexually incompatible. In this case, they can choose to stay in the relationship or end it. There’s no marriage, no divorce and no children. Pre-marital sex is nothing new; it has been going on for centuries. However, there’s still a taboo about sex that traces back to the days of the Puritans more than 300 years ago. It’s 2007 and it’s time to shed the chastity belts that discourage pre-marital sex. Saving oneself, while admirable, is outdated.Let me be clear: I am not promoting reckless, irresponsible sex – this can lead to HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Making love to someone you care for is the height of intimacy. Casual sex is ok, too. Have fun, but be responsible. As the saying goes, “No glove, no love.”