Daniel Cromar
Dear Mr. Rose,
My name is Dan Cromar, and I have been a Guns N’ Roses fan for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a kid, “Appetite for Destruction” has been one of my favorite albums, and “Sweet Child of Mine” has been one of my favorite songs. Naturally, when I heard that Chinese Democracy-the new album you’ve been working on for SIXTEEN YEARS-was finally going to come out, I was very excited.
And now that I’ve finally heard it, I have only one thing to say to you.
Really?
I mean, come on, are you serious? This thing is a freaking joke! This isn’t GNR! This is some sick bastardization of GNR! There are maybe three good songs on this entire album, and the rest are just-bad. I think you can do way better than this, Axl. Can I call you Axl? No, probably not. Too bad. I’m doing it anyway.
Before I go into any more detail, I just want to say that I don’t think I would be this upset about this album if you hadn’t released it as GNR. If you had released it as an Axl Rose solo album, it would make a lot more sense. I would urge you to take that into consideration if, God forbid, you decide to release another album without your original band mates. If you want to play this new mellow (and whiney) type of rock, then put your own name on it, or just start calling your band something different. Slash and Duff already had to do that, and Velvet Revolver sounds more like GNR than anything you put out, even with Scott Weiland as the frontman. In fact, I’d be perfectly content to call Velvet Revolver the new GNR.
That being said, I can’t say that there are no redeeming qualities about this album. “Better” isn’t half bad. Even though I don’t think it should be called a Guns N’ Roses song, I do think this is a pretty cool track. Buckethead’s guitar sounds awesome, and the whole song has a really cool, heavy beat. Also, you sound pretty good here, which isn’t something that can be said for every song.
And I suppose you can’t ignore the title track. I’ve got to admit, that’s a pretty cool song-and definitely the one most reminiscent of old GNR-but how many guitar tracks are on that song? I swear, it sounds like there’s at least 10. It makes me long for the simpler days of “Appetite for Destruction.”
“Riad N’ The Bedouins” isn’t bad either. That’s another one that sounds a lot like the way I (and many other fans, I’m sure) think GNR should sound, but still, it feels like something’s just not right. I can’t quite put my finger on it exactly, but it just doesn’t feel the way I think it’s supposed to.
Still, a few OK songs aren’t anywhere near enough to salvage this thing. Some of these songs border on ridiculous. The first time I heard “If the World,” I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. “Sorry” isn’t much better. Sure, it eventually picks up, but the beginning of that song sounds like someone doing a bad impression of you. It’s almost comical.
That’s one thing this album has made me realize. For years, I’ve heard people say how you have one of the most annoying voices in rock ‘n’ roll. I’ve constantly defended you, saying it’s just a matter of preference, and how it’s not annoying, it’s just unique. Now, though, I’m starting to think maybe I was wrong.
Maybe it’s not that your voice isn’t annoying, Axl. Maybe it just fit what you were doing. When you were with the original band, the music you guys wrote fit everyone’s abilities. Now that you’re in full control, it doesn’t fit anymore. It stands out a lot more, and maybe that’s just not a good thing.
Look, I’m only asking one thing of you. If you want to release another album with the name Guns N’ Roses on it, then it had better actually be the real Guns N’ Roses, with the original members. Clearly you can’t be trusted with the name on your own. If you want to put out more of what you’re already doing, that’s fine too. Just leave GNR out of it.
Believe me, no one would love to see a GNR reunion more than me. You guys were awesome, and I’m sure if you got back to what you do best, you could still be awesome. So give Slash and Duff a call. Maybe you guys can patch things up, and all will be right with the world again.
Sincerely,Dan Cromar
P.S. Get rid of the dreadlocks. You look like an idiot.
(Sony Music)