Halloween Horror Nights need a bit more horror

Antonio Hernandez/ The Roundup

Hollywood is synonomous with scares.

Since the early 1940’s, the motion picture capital of the world has constantly put audiences on the edge of their seats, upping the ante with more blood and guts then you can shake a stick at.

So when Universal Studios Hollywood opens it’s gates in the month of October, you would expect to walk into a park that will scare the wits out of its occupants. And for the most part, the annual Halloween Horror Nights does a decent job.

Universal was transformed into a segmented fright fest, each section of the park representing some of the most influental horror films to scare this generation.

Walking into the park, patrons are immediatly assualted from all sides. Fog masks your vision, speakers blare hard-rock music from every direction, and straight ahead lay a towering pillar that sprouts flame as if it were taken from Hades itself. The main entrance seeks to give audiences a little taste of Hell.

Literally.

Horned devils on stilts emerge from the fog and stalk victims, while a single man in a white suit stands before with a megaphone blaring that “all must repent.” To put it lightly: it’s absolute chaos.

Universal does a great job putting different themes in the park, calling each section a “Scare Zone.”

A zone entitled “SAW: There will be blood” pits vistors against pig-faced minions who stalk the grounds with chainsaws. Yes, these chainsaws sound real (just without their sharp teeth), and yes it will scare the daylights out of you. After walking through the area, you can visit the first of four mazes: “SAW: Game over.”

The maze takes approximately 5 to 10 minutes to navigate and guides vistors through each of the six SAW films. For the most part, it does it’s job in scaring patrons, but at some points the pop-out actors become predictable. The set pieces are extravegent though. All the contraptions the evil “Jigsaw” uses in the film are shown in full-glory within the maze.

Not to mention that some parts, including a scene where a corpse pops from a furnace, just look plain fake.

Of course that doesn’t really matter when a man with a knife is making way for you head-on, but it does detract from the experience just a little.

Another scare zone, entitled “The Meat Market,” forces attendees to walk through a crazed butcher street. The area is complete with more chainsaw wielding psychos, and occasionaly a crazed victim begging for help.

After navigating through that scare zone, you can move on to the next maze, “Halloween: The Life and Crimes of Michael Myers.”

By far, this maze is the one of the most frightening.

Navigating through Mike Myer’s house, white-masked actors leap from nearly every crevice and even attack other actors who are posing as oblivious victims. It’s a good time, taking approximatley 10 minutes to complete.

The next scare zone, a knock-off of the movie “Shawn of the Dead”, features a crashed car and a handful of zombies that roam the foggy streets. Through that zone and across the park is the third maze, “My Bloody Valentine: Be Mine 4 Ever.”

Considering that the film “My Bloody Valentine” was a flop, it was of no suprise that it’s maze was also a dissapointment. There is nothing scary about predictable frights, and bad make-up. Perhaps the only scary moment is walking through a small corridor of lockers, which even then has only one homicidal maniac that pops from the many lockers.

Leaving the maze and you’ll have to navigate French Street, which has been turned into the scare zone, “Freakz.” Basically, imagine another evil circus scenario. It’s scary having clowns running at you, but not very original. Regardless, vistors wil then end up at the most enjoyable maze, “Chucky’s Funhouse.”

The maze welcomes guests by immediatly plunging them into the dark and then endlessly throwing out actor-after-actor at them. The set pieces are good, using a funhouse mirrror section to keep vistors on their toes. Not to mention the diabolical doll that stalks you as you try to navigate the changing landscape

The last, and most hyped attraction was the converted tram-ride, “Terror Tram: Live or Die.”

Perhaps a better name for it would have been “Terror Tram: Walk around for 20 minutes and wish you brought a soda.” The popular tram ride that takes vistors through the back-lot was transformed into a small ride that drops off vistors halfway and forces them to walk through some minature mazes.

There is nothing scary about these mazes.

Well, unless you are fightened of poor setup, visible scares, and boring concepts. I felt cheated, considering the many things that Universal could do with the back-lot. Maybe they could have done something with the JAWS segment of the tour, or even something more scary with the Bates motel.

Regardless of the boring ride, Universal did an exceptional job on the mazes and scaring the daylights out of attendees. But with a $60 admission it might be a better idea to stay home and rent a couple of bad horror movies.

 

 

 

 

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