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Monday, November 23, 2020

Con: But you say he’s just a friend

Having a best friend of the opposite sex can come with a lot of challenges. They can secretly like you as more than a friend. They can cause jealousy with your partner if you’re in a relationship and they can become too attached to you.

If you have a best friend of the opposite sex, over time they will most likely start to develop feelings for you as more than just a friend. Men and women both can end up stuck in the “friend zone”. The friend zone can often times destroy longtime friendships.

This usually happens when friends spend large amounts of time together and the male friend for example, starts to grow more intimate feelings for his female friend. However, the feeling isn’t mutual with the other person because they don’t want to be anything more than just friends. Often times that person feels rejected and embarrassed for trying to remove themselves from the friend zone and the two can no longer continue their friendship.

Friends of the opposite sex can also cause trouble for you if you’re in a relationship with someone. Often times partners become jealous of how close you and your best friend are, because they too want that bond with you. If you’re best friend is of the opposite sex, this can cause insecurities within your partner.

Your partner may feel if your best friend is of the opposite sex and you have such a great bond with that person, you may be more likely to develop romantic feelings for your friend and possibly cheat. Your partner may feel that you’re spending more time with your best friend than them.

This can also be bad because you can be manipulated by your best friend. They may listen to your relationship problems and give you advice, but it could be to their benefit to end your relationship. Your friend  can listen to your relationship problems and suggest to you that you can do so much better,  while planning to break the two of you up so that they can be in a relationship with you themselves.

Being single can also be inconvenient having a friend of the opposite sex. It can be misconstrued with others that the two of you are dating. This can potentially be a big problem if you’re interested in someone but they always see you and your best friend together. The person you are interested in may not feel the same way because they will automatically assume the two of you are involved.

My advice to protect yourself from all of the above would be to set limits with your best friend.  If you feel that things are getting too personal, make more time for yourself and set aside time for your relationship, if you’re in one. Even though that’s your best friend, they don’t need to know your every move.

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